marriage

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This is true, Colleen! If a man’s going to leave b/c you require a sexual commitment, see ya bye! You want to know sooner rather than later if he’s gonna stick around. Less grief with less emotional investment! Love, Cherry

Truthfully, Cherry … since you asked what we thought! …

To me, a month’s waiting is plenty of time to start relations. If he’s calling every day a couple months later, he’s probably on track unless he’s one of those weirdos who will never marry no matter what. I can see her wanting to know. But starting out saying “I had sex without asking if you had a plan” would make me feel like I was nothing but a marriage target if I was a guy. It would also make me feel like I’d better give the right answer or give up the nookie. And some guys, given that, will give the right answer to keep the good times going.

My own recommendation would be to ask him, maybe on a hike, to say, “Not to put you on the spot, but what would be your ideal relationship? … You don’t have to answer right now.” That way, he has time to think, just like she has. He won’t feel so cornered.

Just my opinion!